what am i doing? where am i going?

am i going the opposite direction of where i want to be?

where i want to be:

in comfort, good food, comfort food, fancy drinks of all kinds, a cozy home, surrounded by art and creativity, admiring nature, fresh vegetables, warmth, beauty, solitude, slow living, sweet words, kindness, to be cherished, to love and be loved, a mutual respect, security, laughter, loyalty, companionship, some adventure but also lots of down time, quite time, cozy time, patience, roots, solid roots which are watered often - but not too often, a pinch of magic but don't over do it, dreaming but not dreaming my life away, practical but not boring, love, the right kind of love, a colorful love, simple pleasures, sharing simple pleasures with the one(s) i love

old jazz playing in the background, the smell of honeysuckle from outside and chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven.

creating a safe place in this world, creating a place i can escape to.

sigh.

i love ashleyg so much. this painting fits so well with the way i am feeling tonight.

newest news

I'm leaving my hometown (FINALLY) and moving to Oakland California in ....

2 to 3 weeks?!


I seriously can hardly see, breathe, speak or talk.

I am in complete shock.
Didn't see this coming. Didn't plan on it at all.. ever.

It just happened!

I am filled with excitement for the first time in a long time.

I don't have a single fear in the world either! which is weird for me because I tend to really over-think things and then I become worried. But not this time.
I am so ready for a change. I can't WAIT!

I know its not Portland but it doesn't matter anyway. It was meant to be this way.

scribbles and stuff

I know my art isn't great but it still feels good to get it out of me.

The first one is a little fox guy drawn on paper with a few splashes of paint & then sewn onto dotted fabric.

The second one is a collaboration with little Finnley Wolf. He did the background and I did the bunny.

The third one I made last night when I was going insane in my craft room.. I like the sewn scraps of fabric around her.. because sometimes I feel like I am drowning in fabric.

strange weather

torrential rains followed by blue skies and heat.

take me by the arm, lets walk down the street

happy valentines day dearest blog followers!

Currently... I am pulling out my hair. I feel like I'm stuck in a snow globe and little kids are laughing at me.

Portland Oregon

I have been dreaming about you for many years..
I love you. I want to live with you.. marry you... etc.


these photos were taken from google.com

Last night and the multivitamin..

I took a multivitamin for the first time in months last night before bed. Bad idea. I was up all night long thinking about what I want my new mini terrarium to look like. Do I want a mini sheep in it or do I want a mini gnome? Do I want to make my own or order one from weegreenspot on etsy? Then I started seeing things in our bedroom. I swore that there was a ghost in there trying to stop me from yelling Trents name. I felt paralyzed and insane last night in bed... I never knew that a vitamin could make me feel like I was on drugs.

warmth on cold winter days..

pretty vintage afgan at, tractordog

Vintage Mustard Knit Slouchy Cardigan at, RegalVintage

Softspoken Open Mouth Scarf in Golden

Alice in Winterland Fingerless Gloves by, YesJess

Asymmetrical Olive Coverall Stretch Knit Sweater by, PeekoApparel

I dont know about you but I am getting tired of this weather. Its so cold and dark everyday, It makes me feel sluggish.

I am looking forward to spring so I can start on my garden, eat fresh veggies, go outside more and feel alive again. I can't wait to see the trees bloom, flowers bloom, bird singing.. fresh grass.. ahhhh.

For now I will sit inside and get fat on too many carbs and mochas. I wish I could buy all of the items I have listed to make this chilly weather more enjoyable. ;)

it's life and life only..

my hero, bob dylan.

Progress: Makin' it.

Whew. Its 1:43 and this is my 4th night in a row up this late, sewing. Tonight I completed a bunch of plushies that will be shipped out tomorrow. Only 28 more to go until I am completely caught up with my orders. They will be out on Saturday and Monday morning with priority shipping so they should (HOPEFULLY) make it by Christmas. A lot of these orders were made after my Xmas deadline anyway.. So the customers are not expecting them but it would be nice if I could get them out in time.

I never expected this. When I read all of the "are you ready for the holidays?" blogs and emails from Etsy I just shrugged it off. I had absolutely NO idea that I would receive so many sales. On black friday alone I made over 18 sales and from that day on it has been complete madness. It has tapered off quite a bit now that I have almost emptied my shop completely... only offering little red foxes and a couple of other plushies. Next year I am going to start my holiday plush stash way ahead of time, like summertime when sales are slow. I want to have a stash of about 50 plushies before October. That way I am not completely engulfed in work.

Seriously. Drowning.

in.

work.

Next year I hope I can enjoy the holidays and maybe even decorate my house or hmm.. make handmade gifts for loved ones.

I am not complaining by any means. I just can't wait for this rush to be done with! I can't remember the last time I did a recreational craft. Ohh sounds so nice.

Anyways.. I should probably get to bed. I have had 4 espressos today and although I am completely wired I should try to get some rest.

Goodnight out there.

Fan Art!!

Yesterday I got the sweetest convo from one of my customers. Thanking me for the three foxes that I made for her.  She even made this adorable little painting of the three foxes. Etsy customers are the greatest!

In other news, my shop will be shut down until I complete or at least catch up with all of these holiday orders. This is my first holiday season on Etsy and boy... I never knew it would be like this!! I am so swamped with work.. but its a good thing! I can handle it :) I just know that If I take on anymore orders I will be too overwhelmed so I made the decision last night to close sleepy king. 

Hope you are all doing well out there in blog and etsy-land. Happy Holidays! 

thrifting is the best way to spend an overcast day..

Here are just a few of my finds today.. i also got some cute old books (for decoration), a mustard yellow and green scarf, a cool old frame, and an xmas stocking that I am going to re-vamp. I collected the acorns on Broadway street.

..

Here are a few edited pictures of myself. I don't like posting highly recognizable pictures of myself on the internet for some reason. Plus I look better in high contrast pictures;)

The beret I am wearing is from softspoken and I adore it :D and Norway Spruce the fox is in my shop. 

Today is a tad bit overcast which really makes me happy. I am listening to Bob Dylan, Highway 61 Revisited and sipping on a trainwreck (2 shots of espresso + coffee) soon I am going to get to sewing, cleaning the house, and going to the park to collect bits of nature with Finnley. I am making a little nature shrine in my living room. I will probably post some pictures of it soon.

Goodbye Facebook.. goodbye "friends"

I deleted or "deactivated" my facebook last night because I was sick of it always hanging over me. (Did you know that facebook won't let you completely delete your profile?) 

First thing I though of in the morning was "Oh I wonder if anyone commented on that link I posted" Or, "Ooh I bet my 'friends' would really like to know what I ate for breakfast this morning." It seems like when you have a facebook the need for calling old friends or family members becomes less and less. When you can just go to their wall to see what they're up to why call them? 

After almost a year of having a facebook I started to notice that I hang out with people less and less. I know that we've all got our own busy lives but come on.. really.. you can't even call to say hi? We can't even go get tea or coffee? 

I am starting to think that I don't have any real friends at all anymore. I am okay with this... I would just really like to meet some new people. I'm just not the same as we I to be. I don't want to gossip with you about so and so.. I want to craft, I want to talk about sewing and music. I want to hangout with other moms who parent the way that I do.. 

I don't have much in common with the people in this town. I hate this town. I absolutely h a t e it here. I have outgrown this town and it seems impossible to escape it. I feel like I am drowning. 

In an attempt to keep my spirits up I listen to Belle and Sebastian every day. I sing this song at the top of my lungs and sometimes I feel like a crazy bat.. but it makes me laugh anyway.

"Ooh! get me away from here Im dying
Play me a song to set me free
Nobody writes them like they used to
So it may as well be me
Here on my own now after hours
Here on my own now on a bus
Think of it this way
You could either be successful or be us
With our winning smiles, and us
With our catchy tunes and words
Now were photogenic
You know, we dont stand a chance

Oh, Ill settle down with some old story
About a boy whos just like me
Thought there was love in everything and everyone
Youre so naive!
They always reach a sorry ending
They always get it in the end
Still it was worth it as I turned the pages solemnly, and then
With a winning smile, the poor boy
With naivety succeeds
At the final moment, I cried
I always cry at endings

Oh, that wasnt what I meant to say at all
From where Im sitting, rain
Falling against the lonely tenement
Has set my mind to wander
Into the windows of my lovers
They never know unless I write
This is no declaration, I just thought Id let you know goodbye
Said the hero in the story
It is mightier than swords
I could kill you sure
But I could only make you cry with these words"

And honestly.. Etsy gets me through.  I am so thankful for the friends I have made through this wonderful crafting community. if i didn't craft and sew, who would I be? Where would I be? I would be so lost and so so bland. 

I need a fresh start, in a new city, with new people who aren't so fucking boring.

(and I never say fucking, ever.)